Orientation
Class Outline

Download the Orientation Packet in PDF Format

I. Safety
A. Dominants/Submissives
1. Online Safety – keeping your personal information and activity safe. Don’t assume ANYTHING that anyone tells you online is true.

2. Meeting for the first time – Always get references and check them. Meet in a public place. Experienced lifestyle individuals should give you references and personal information and ask you to check them.

3. Safe Words/Safe Calls – Don’t scene with people that don’t use safe words. Always use them. (at least at first…some don’t use them once they have established relationships.) Be aware of those you first meet who say “I don’t believe in safe words.”

4. Red Flags – Unwilling to give personal information/references. Have a problem being affiliated with groups. Only give a cell phone number. Want to only meet privately. Insist on playing on first meeting. Doesn’t want someone to come with you on first meeting.

B. Scene Safety
1. If you don’t know your play partner, have a spotter or a DM (dungeon monitor).

2. Clean all implements before and after use.

3. Check your equipment and furniture before you start playing.

4. Inform the dungeon master (DM) of any unusual questions, requests, or noise levels.

5. Be careful of transmission of bodily fluids.

6. Know your partners’ medical conditions.

II. Protocol
A. Bottoms/Submissives
1. It is not a given right to be called Ma’am or Sir, although it is customary manners. It is an earned privilege. If you don’t know what title someone prefers, ask them! That is if you want to use one.

2. Being a bottom/submissive does not equate “doormat”.

3. Dominance and submission is an exchange.


B. Tops/Dominants
1. Just because someone is a sub, doesn’t mean they are your sub.

2. When in doubt if a submissive/bottom is attached to someone, ask.

3. Do not overextend your expertise, if you don’t know how to do something, don’t do it.

4. Tops/Dominants have safe words too.

C. Both
1. Good manners go far.

2. Don’t touch anything or anyone that belongs to anyone else, without explicit permission. That includes people and toys.

3. Your “kink” is not my “kink” – that’s ok, honor other people’s way of life.

4. Always err on the side of conservatism. If you have to guess, always guess they are more on the conservative side.

5. At play parties, keep the conversation to a minimum; play only in the spaces provided. At play parties there are safe zones.

6. Don’t be afraid to ask to play, but remember no means NO.

7. Be confidential about the location and the people in attendance, and be careful what you wear outside.

8. On the elists, keep on topic or put OT in the subject line.

9. Refrain from flaming, make sure of your facts before you post and give credit where credit is due (site articles, etc).

III. Negotiations and Contracts
A. Negotiations
1. Either tops or bottoms can begin negotiations.

2. Always be honest about what it is you want.

3. Always be honest about your experience.

4. Sometimes third party negotiations are used, especially for people that are new.

5. Checklists/Playlists
     a. Checklists are always a good way of preparing negotiations.
     b. Checklists should be done frequently because of desires and experiences change.

B. Contracts
1. Contracts are used for short or long term relationships.

2. Contracts can be very detailed or very open.

3. They have a certain length of time.

4. Have an escape clause.

5. Contracts are NOT legally binding.

6. They are renegotiated periodically.

IV. Confidentiality
1. Some people have a need to be more confidential than others do. It’s a good idea to not talk about anything or anyone without their prior permission.

2. Passing along personal information (phone numbers, etc.) without permission is a huge “no-no”.

3. Confidentiality is a difficult thing when trying to give references. Only give what information is necessary when asked for.

4. Before giving references, get permission to be referred.

V. National Events and Education
A. National events
1. Don’t be afraid to go.

2. Your best manners will serve you well.

3. When all else fails, ask.

4. Remember no matter what, you are a representative of your community.

B. Education
1. See out people that know what you want to know.

2. Read, read, and read.

3. Practice on other things before you work on people.

4. When in doubt, ask.

5. Read, read, and read.

VI. Aftercare
1. Top Drop

2. Sub Drop

3. Life changes when you enter BDSM lifestyle.

4. Addictions?

5. Balance of life (vanilla) with BDSM.